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July 22 Angst AngstromReality - a chilly and frigid friend.
People are often obsessed about things they cannot hold onto; the harder it is to actualize, the stronger the delusional infatuation. A child cries when the mother refuses to buy his toy - the more reluctant the mother, the louder he wails. And what when the mother gives in..? He realizes he didn't really want the toy afterall. Maybe he wasn't even thinking of the toy to begin with, but blinded by...what? Greed? Contempt? Defiance. What do they call this... Degeneration...more like atrophy. "堕落". Everyone's a victim, it's everywhere. Blindness.
And what of things that come freely? Willingly...voluntarily...unreservedly...
Unconditionally.
"Ah well, I suppose I can get it whenever I want. It's worthless. Pointless. Some other time perhaps," the child says to himself. And he chucks the free toy away. In some obscure corner. Well, McDonald's Happy Meal comes with a free toy all the time anyway. Be happy with the Happy Meal, and the rest is irrelevant.
And what if McDonald's should charge for the cheap plastic? Ah, that might interest the boy. But maybe mommy's too broke now. And he starts wailing... And the cycle continues... But mommy's already broke.
I'm not a great musician. Heck, I'm no musician - at all. Whoever thinks otherwise must've watched too much MTV. I can't play the fiddle, much less the second one. No way.
Humor gets tiresome and drudging after a while. Hello, frigid friend.
May 12 The Wonders of Falling in LoveMeeting someone, getting to know him, understanding him, accepting him, loving him and remembering.
Never say you're going to if you never will. Never talk about feelings if they are not really there. Never say I LOVE YOU if you don't really care. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Someone asked me once, "Have you ever been in love?"... And it made me stop and think. Then I smiled because I was thinking of you. The best part of loving is not wishing that the person loved you as much as you do but in feeling that you love the person far more than you thought you could. A guy and a girl can be "just friends" but one point or another, one of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late or maybe, just maybe forever... Letting go of someone dear to you is hard but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. Giving up doesn't mean you're weak. It only means that you're strong enough to let go. It really hurts to love someone who doesn't give you the time of day, but what will hurt more is when you realize that someone that you don't give the time of day loved you and gave it up coz you loved someone else. Love is a contradiction. It's hard to find but easy to lose, makes you feel good but hurts you so bad, opens your eyes but makes you blind, fills up your heart then tears it apart. You don't really have to hold hands. You don't really have to see each other to make one feel what's inside, but you just have to be true to let love see what's with you. Don't let doubts lose the magic of love because it's not everyday you meet the person who has the magic to let you fall in love. The meaning of love is inexplicable. It can't be described similarly by everyone --- but one thing's for sure, love begins with FRIENDS. "to the Corellian-3..." May 07 Cigarette of melancholyChrist's ultimate act of love - his sacrifice for Man - has always been Christianity's "knockout punch" in convincing the world of his mandate. However, it is in my humblest of opinions, that the stage has long been set by Man, and Jesus was a mere actor in this theatre of hope-pain-suffer...
If the word of God is true, then his sacrifice was nothing but a performance. He knew very well, that after his "death", he is going back to eternal bliss. He also understood, that the endurance of such pain in the name of Love, will be the bedrock of his following...well into the future. It is an undeniable fact, that on this stage of Man, such an undertaking will be forever remembered.
Now, two ways to look at this - this act... this performance... this masquerade... Skeptics claim that Jesus was but a phony actor so engrossed in his own self-spirituality, that his sacrifice was necessary if he were to enjoy widespread belief. Generalists and believers, however, think otherwise. That he is willing to endure such massive physical pain in the face of the inevitability of eternity bliss, is something beyond a certain level of human comprehension. In short, "I did when I need not, but I will do it nonetheless"....because of you.
I used to be a skeptic...now I'm just an actor.
Have you ever seen the world through the eyes of Colonel Thomas Blood..? The infamous rogue who stole the crown jewels.. Have you ever wanted something so very bad...yet deep inside...deep down inside you know you can never deserve it..? Something as priceless as the Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom...and because of that, something only the King is fit to possess... What then, do you tell yourself? Do the right thing, and merely long for and admire them from afar..? Or, against all odds, steal them, in the bid to be true to thyself... Colonel Blood was not only pardoned for his audacity and courage, he was rewarded by Charles II. The 17th century must've been a stranger place...
If Blood is alive today, I salute him.
Sociology is truly a pain in the neck. If you're a sociology student, you have my utmost sympathy. All I can think about now, is Max Weber (pronounced Vay-ber) and his quixotic visions of bureaucracy. With all due respect to Weber, he is an asshole, really. Well not him, but his Ideal Type Bureaucracy, particularly the part detailing "officials do not own the resources necessary for the performance of their assigned functions irregardless of their office". Somehow, there is a keen sense of helplessness here... Imagine working your entire life, giving your everything to an organization...knowing right from the very start, that you can never call your own... not even partially....now that... that is gonna hurt.
Come on! Give the bureaucrat a break!
Puff the cigarette of melancholy, and watch it turns to smoke....
ps: I was proof reading this, and I've to say it pleased me some..that I can still write like this, and still remain clear with the message... I suppose it's the little comfort everyone needs...the knowledge that physical and emotional pain are mediocre in the face of mental strength...
The next one, if ever, will be a comedy......I hope. |
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