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Sabbra CadabraShe makes me feel happy...it's good to know that she's all mine! November 03 Why Very Intelligent Men Fail With WomenThe Ten Reasons Why HIGHLY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women... AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT... When smart men finished reading articles such as these, they'll most probably agree with them. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out the logic in that. The problem with the really intelligent ones, is 5 minutes after reading and agreeing, they'll say to themselves "meh...who cares". These are usually the smart men with really beautiful girlfriends, and a pretty decent track record. Meh...who cares. July 12 iPhone: First ThoughtsHello Internet folks, how are you again. Oh no, your terrapin escaped? Please post a blog so you may tell the whole world about it. For the rest of you non-terrapin-lovers, have you purchased your iPhone? No? Please close this page right now, and proceed to bid for a life worth living on eBay. Ah, so you did, you sly fox. Please read on then, dear fellow iPhone friends.
Hello friends, how are you...again. Let me congratulate you on your recent purchase. I'm sure you must be really happy with yourself. Give yourself a pat on your back! You have done well, very well indeed. Right now, you should be in the center of all that attention you deserve. Also, I'm fairly certain you must be getting tired of all the comments from stupid people regarding your purchase. Why do I call these people stupid, you inquire? Why, because they are, my fair lady. They have displayed an utter lack of a normal cognitive brain, one capable of forming thoughts that do not involve nudity, dogs, and naked dogs. Here is a list of things stupid people like to say:
And if you're living in Singapore (God have mercy) or any other country other than the United States:
"But why do you think they're stupid, kind sir?"
Because, my dear friend, all these people have one thing in common: they do not own an iPhone.
"Oh snap!"
Yes, the truth is awfully clear. Let me raise a few points in an attempt to make it even clearer:
"So why did you get an iPhone, kind sir?"
Well, first lets talk about what I did not get the iPhone for. I did not get an iPhone so I can save the world, find a cure for AIDS, or invade China, so all the "iPhone sucks because it does not have <insert random PPC feature>" comments are moot. Also, I already own an Atom Life. It is a HSDPA phone, 624 mhz (fastest in its class), runs WM6, superb email functionality etc, and is all-in-all a delightful piece of equipment. What this means is I certainly did not get the iPhone for its "phone functions", so all those comments are moot too.
So why did I get it? Because it is beautiful. Yes, there is no better way to say it but that. Believe me, there is absolutely no way to appreciate that fact other than to own the phone yourself, so I'm not even going to try to write a review to convince the stupids. I took it out for one day, and I have people's heads all over me. Call me an attention whore, but hey, we're all attention whores to a degree so lets not get too hypocritical about it.
I got it because it's a great gadget. Again, there's no way to understand this other than holding and using it for yourself. You can read all the reviews you want, or play around with a friend's or at the Apple store, but believe me nothing beats owning one for real. To actually use it at the comfort of your home, or wherever you may be, loaded with your own photos and music and internet shortcuts etc, is euphoria. The whole experience is state-of-the-art, and you simply cannot describe experience on a tech spec sheet.
So my friends, if you find yourself surrounded by the stupids, here's what you do: DO NOT WASTE A MINUTE TRYING TO CONVINCE THEM! They're mostly just being the illustrative/archetypal sourgrapes that they are, and there's no way you can logically convince these people (as I've illustrated, they do not possess the capacity for logical thinking). These people love nothing more than to put others down so as to hide the hurt that is happening to their egos. What you can do is perhaps to show them this article, so they may hopefully see their folly and cry themselves to sleep at night.
For the rest of the non-stupids who haven't decided but require more convincing, here's a superb and detailed review of the iPhone, including the good and the bad. But remember: you cannot write a review on real user experience. Many people have requested me to post photos. I promise I'll do that - once I stop masturbating to the touch of my new phone.
June 01 What in the world are Bots?Bots search for friends on the internets. They actively seek out like-minded "bohemistic" individuals in places like Friendster, Facebook and Blogspot, and their popularity (read "level of social acceptance") and/or self esteem are determined by the number of other Bots in their "Friends List", and the number of comments they've received.
Bots keep blogs where they really love posting pictures of themselves doing all sorts of silly things (like going to girlie parties or making group monkey faces) everyday. In a Bot's world, it is cool to be a monkey. Like, monkey Bots...or whatever.
Bots believe people who're nice to them are really nice people. Even on the internets. People who leave nice comments on their "shout boxes" or comment positively on their blogs are nice, whereas people who're mean, call them ugly, or simply point out the massiveness of their noses are not so nice.
Bots enjoy posting comments on how big other people's noses are. They are natural gossips.
Bots will use silly words not just in speech, but also in writing. Words like lah, leh, lor, liao, kao, sia, meh, hor, sian etc are perceived to contain embedded cryptic meanings.
Bots feel desperate, unwanted, awkward and distressed if their friends are "mean" to them.
Bots are incapable of stringing words together to form proper sentences. Phrases like "siao bo i wuv hellokitty kekeke" make perfect linguistic sense.
Bots relish in mediocrity. They think silly, unimportant things define their little lives.
In small congregations, Bots enjoy nothing more than a discourse about the latest in fashion, clubbing scenes, chilling out spots, fancy eateries, gender superiority, and Japanese automobiles. Topics of Byzantine proportions - such as how to hook up with chicks in a club, ways to make a Suzuki generate more noise (or other issues concerning ricer mobiles), how much alcohol can a Bot imbibe before turning into the philistine he/she is, or how to best dress like a clown - are commonplace amongst such assemblage of serfs.
Bots think NEWater is the nectar of gods. It gives a quite literal meaning to "shit for brains".
Bots know nothing outside the world of "going for a drive", "go where chill", "go where watch movie", and "go where to chiong har?"
Bots think it's "cool" and "in" to read off the entire alcohol menu of a typical club off the top of their heads.
Bots are concerned if they can find themselves a decent 9-5 job with their education - if that is even a genuine concern. Nevertheless, when they finally get their "decent jobs", they waste their time griping and ranting about their worthless jobs, and thinking about nothing other than weekends when they can partake in even more worthless activities. Talk about a belated reality check that, on hindsight, wasn't even hindsight at all (ha ha ha I'm so funny...)
Bots harp on the heightening rupture between education and learning (replace with any other social issue), but do not grasp the true reality of it. (If you read this sentence and know not of what it means, face it, you're a Bot). They just think it's cool to harp on it.
Beware not to accidentally trip on or bump into a Bot on a crowded train, or the Bot will "tsk" you to death. It's the Death Tsk, and we're all extremely vulnerable to it - or at least the Bot thinks so.
Bots do not know that, at 174% of disposable income, they are the most indebted people in the world. Even if they know, they will still spend above their capacity because it's the only thing that makes them feel good about themselves.
Bots do not know - or worse, they do not care even when they know - that they do not have the right to assembly, the freedom of expression, a pluralistic press, minimum wage and other labor protection, basic social security and welfare, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc.
Bots are better off dead if they're middle aged, jobless, and sick. Seriously.
Bots are responsible for the number 66.6.
Manipulability, predictability and being bromidic are clearly the forte of Bots. Bots make the perfect social tools.
Bots are obviously too poor to afford a neural upgrade, much less a transplant.
Bots relish in mediocrity....x2
Bots think the grandest things in life are limited to buying a Japanese automobile, owning a flat, and an annual trip to Disneyland. You may replace "Disneyland" with Bali, Tioman, Bangkok, or any other place which is considered "hip" and "lifestylish", from college dorms discussions to office cubicles gossips. This may seem senseless to you (especially if you're a Bot), but the irony is actually in "college dorms to office cubicles".
Bots are a far cry from being philosophical and/or intellectual (read "not just academic excellence").
Seriously, Bots relish in mediocrity.
Bots are sharply offended when people do not respect them, but deep in their private hearts, Bots do not much respect themselves. (Thank you, Mark Twain)
Bots have low self esteem. They deserve it.
Bots are ungracious, uncouth, awkward, bad-mannered, barbaric, bearish, bucolic, boorish, brusque, cantankerous, cheap, churlish, cloddish, clownish, clumsy, coarse, countrified, crass, crude, crusty, curt, discourteous, disgracious, gawky, graceless, gross, gruff, heavy-handed, ill-bred, ill-mannered, impertinent, impetuous, <gasp!> impolite, inelegant, loud, loud-mouthed, loutish, lowbred, lubberly, oafish, ornery, provincial, raunchy, raw, rough, rude, rustic, snippy, strange, swainish, tasteless, ugly, uncivil, uncivilized, uncultivated, uncultured, uneducated, ungainly, ungenteel, ungentlemanly, unpoised, unpolished, unrefined, unseemly, and vulgar. Especially in public places. You get the idea.
Bots hold pink ICs. To add salt to injury, they're proud of it.
Bots smell like poo.
There are too many Bots. They are not dying fast enough. Utopia is likened to a terror attack on Suntec during the IT Show.
Are you a Bot?
![]() "Oh lord, let me not be stuck here for the rest of my life." February 06 The Story of the Dinosaur and the Raisin BoxA recent study made by a group of experts consisting of Mary Kate Olsen's fashion consultant, 4 lab mice, a couple of hobos, and an oversized McNugget has come up with a revolutionary observation about my room:
IT IS UNTIDY
And so, here is the perfect example of a "Before/After" commercial shoot:
$1200 for air that doesn't choke you everytime you attempt to breathe...pretty damn worth it!
And this is the story of the dinosaur and the raisin box.
![]() January 14 My New ToyMy new Toy.
I call it Wonder Boy.
It's color like an alloy.
I feed it Chips Ahoy.
My new Toy.
O2 XDA Atom Exec: $998
IR Keyboard: $0
Speaker Stand: $149
Mini SD Card with Adapter: $35
Shock absorbing casing: $34
Bluetooth Dongle: $28
Able to play Solitaire anywhere: Priceless
There are some things money can't buy...no wait... November 30 Lollercoaster!!!!1igotyourpeektureonmyblogweeeee!!!!!111!!oneone!!eleven
omgwtfbbq the int3rn3ts make you stupid...
me 1 - 0 singaporeans *hic*
whoops i dropped my pants! below is a smaller version of whoops i dropped my pants! "Please wait while we load your photos...", said Microsoft. "Please deposit your haha's in the nearest bank!" November 08 AHGOGO Spree #1 - [OPEN]sgfeedback [+786457667567/-0] (Thanks for all the lovely feedback!!!11one)
This is the first time I'm ordring from AHGOGO!!
Free transport within Jalan Kayu 4 orders more den 20 SGD!!!! Spree capped @ 200 SGD.
Will take in more batches depending on response. Better cum quick! ( Time to Spreeeeee!!!!!!!!AHGOGOp!!!@ )
Website: http://www.ahgogo.sg
![]() *2 great designs! Item #1 and #2
![]() *View from left& right!!
![]() * Adorable/cute & reading a book!!!
![]() * Tweeze!!
![]() * Other uses: Wipe eye shit / wipe mouth / bf dig nose
There will b 2 transacions:
1st: Order amt + S$3 per item (for vpost charges)
2nd: Vpost charges top up + Postage
Shipping will b thru vpost. Flat rate 7.95USD for ground shipping within USA! Flatter rate 7.95SGD for ground shipping within Bukit Gombak!!!!
Terms and conditions and relevant information and other relevant information and other important things
Ordering:
Payment:
Shipping Charges:
Collection of items:
Contact Info:
**Pls credit me if you wish to reproduce any part of my spree format, vpost categorization and/or terms, thanks! Format of Order:
LJ Nick:
Email Address: Account Type/No: Item #1 Item Name: URL: Colour: Size: Price in USD: Alternative: Price in MAD: Price in USD x 8.657 + S$3 x (no of items) = (Post a new comment)
September 23 Monkey And TigerThis was tiger country, monkey territory. Lush, wild and only the lonely. As it was early spring the birds were still somewhat subdued, the earlier cold spells had left a mark on their presence and exuberance. Both Tiger and Monkey had been — each in their own way — preparing themselves for their anticipated return. Year after year spring had come, so had the birds. What was to come arrived so fast it didn’t have time to rearrange these presuppositions. It has always been inappropriate to contemplate the renewal of life without the presence of flower beds and birdsong; so the heavens themselves were approached to give the skin of life a massage.
Tiger. Tiger had been a tiger all her life, as a cub the entire class of pioneers had unanimously chosen her as the one that should be called: “Tiger the only Tiger who was promised to be a Tiger”. She could catch her tail faster than any other cub; her stripes were more varied than those of any other tiger; her movements were so delightful to watch and so innately gracious that already after a few days playing just a few feet away from her mother she had been chosen as a future queen of the forest. Her paws were chocolate soft and lily white, her little claws were already as sharp as lightning. No doubt she was the only Tiger that was going to move with absolute determination and infallible certainty along the path towards her promised life.
And so it happened that time, instead of running after, ran ahead of itself. Clearly there was something in the air that a sleeve couldn’t wipe clean. On a bright and sunny afternoon there was this weather vane directing the traffic. Mock attacks, fancy dress parties and exchanges of good will, they all passed by. It was to be as much a sight as an enjoyment on all fours. All of a sudden, ears stretched, nostrils vibrating, muscles at the ready, there was this roaring tremor, it was like the earth opening up, ready to receive its offspring. Monkey leapt on the back of Tiger. Whirling and twirling, sunning and bathing, rolling and frolicking. Hair and skin were from now on bed and kin; air and breath became the pathway to their intertwined future. No would never be any more a sound cleaving the sky. What’s more, there was this smell penetrating their skin, this foreboding, this magnetism and mutuality: two bodies one purpose; four legs one direction. It all happened with such an incredible force and speed that it felt as if time was shrinking and shifting shape.
Monkey and Tiger were given the times of their lives back. The sun had made their dreams come true. The forest had to be explored and prepared for a new experience: how to dare together, how to share the result of this earthquake they had set in motion? How to recognise the new opportunities but also the new dangers? What is to come will never be the same as what has been. Face to face, Monkey and Tiger were ready and all over the place; they were grooming each other for both the short and the long haul. Their day had come.
Gradually their eyes were adapting to this new life form. Being together provided even the sun with a new task: just to be there was enough. Whether the night took the sky away or the rain the heat Monkey and Tiger kept the order of the universe going. It was the world of dreams that was giving them food, shelter and life. September 17 IMF S2006: Exclusive Report!It's been a while since I last talked about the ongoing and very hot topic regarding the IMF meeting right here in Singapore. Oh wait, no. I have yet to talk about the IMF meeting that's taking place right here in Singapore. Sometimes I wish people, especially dumb Singaporeans, will stop getting a boner everytime someone mentions the fact that the meeting is taking place right here in Singapore.
To both IMF and the World Bank, that was like a huge "fuck you" statement. Their presidents, obviously open-minded, up-class and educated individuals because they wear suits and ties, told the Singapore government...err policeman chief "Let the damn CSOs in, you filthy narrow minded Asians! We hope you didn't ban them because you didn't like their opinions...oh wait you did! Don't think we don't know, shitface!"
Amidst all this, Singapore Civil Society Organizations have been given special leeway in making themselves heard. Some bitch from a local CSO decided to pass some smartass remarks to 'support' the government's...err police's stand on barring the activities: "Oh please [rolls eyes], we obviously do not resort to silly tactics like those mongrels banned by the police. Civilized people like us [flicks a finger] don't need to act like gangsters....lor."
Getting this document out into the public will be no easy matter. The police are now hot on my heels, and sending this news update now has considerably increased the risk of my capture. But fear not, as long as I have a single breath left in me, I shall continue to report on the most important meeting this decade that is taking place right here in Singapore.
Signing off from the frontlines,
Mr Greenish Brown
"Living on the internet, making my business yours." September 12 What Do Men Really Want?Salutations, monde! That's "Hello, world!" in French for you English speaking monkeys! So anyway, how have you been today? Actually, I'm not interested, so don't tell me. So anyway, I was thinking just now. And I was reading just now. So anyway, I was thinking while I was reading just now. About what defines being a man. So anyway, keep in mind this article was written 16 years ago. So anyway, local society is approximately 10-20 years behind that of America anyway, which means it's a pretty accurate picture of Singapore today. So anyway, pictures were added for comedy effect.
Verdict:
So anyway, judgement has been passed. I still love women. And I'm no gh3y. By the way. |
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